signontheline: (Totes in control)
Title: Untitled
Wordcount: 962
What: Langunverse - Attraction is a dangerous drug and going through withdrawal is hard
Status: Complete

They say he fell in love like a teenage boy. You know how it is: that tender innocence of your first love. Somehow, the room lights up when they enter it. The air smells sweeter. The sun feels warmer. You could talk to them for hours and never get bored. There are other people more beautiful than they are, more perfect but you'd rather have them. It happens quick and sudden without warning. One minute you're minding your own business, the next minute you've lost your mind and all you want to do is hold a hand that didn't want to be held. But this was normal. Crushes happened all the time, especially when you happened to be at the age where your hormones ran rampant. Crushes were normal. Teenage boys got crushes all the time.

The sad part was he didn't realize this was what had happened to him until it was too late.

Water battered his head and his shoulders as he stood with his forehead against the shower. Yukio had no idea how long he had been standing there, just letting that cold water wash over him as he mulled over the events of the last couple of days. It just seemed... impossible to conceive.

He wasn't even sure how it happened. Simple idle conversation led to him staring a little too long and leaning in and before he knew it they were kissing again. A kiss turned to a touch, turned to fingers through his hair and leading the older man down into bed and...

That made it what, the fourth time?

But the card wasn't involved. The card was actually the furthest thing from his mind at that moment.

The only thing on his mind was want.

He wanted to feel Itachi's body pressed against his. He wanted to feel those fingers dragging down his shoulders and over the muscles of his back as he buried himself deeper with each thrust. He wanted to hear that voice calling his name, making his heart race with every gasp, making him feel like he was all that mattered at that moment. He wanted that completion when he hit his climax and that brief moment where he locked eyes with the other man's after it. He wanted to kiss those lips over and over and over..

And he didn't want it to end.

The thought scared him.

This was wrong. Yukio knew it was wrong. He lowered his head, letting the water run down his back as he pressed his palms to the wall in front of him. The cold grounded him. What was he doing? Was he actually enjoying this? Did he, with all his scruples and morals, actually... willingly... allow himself to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh with another man? And even worse... he had called him his brother the entire time.

Niisan.

When had he been comfortable enough with someone to call them by that honorific?

He had gasped it out once while he built his climax and again when he hit it. But Rin never once crossed his mind. This man. It was always Itachi that came to mind when he uttered that word in bed. Somehow, he could separate the two - this man from his actual brother. Rin never called him otoutou even if he always called his older twin niisan all the time. Maybe he just didn't feel like the older brother unless he needed to be. They were twins, after all. The age difference was minimal; seconds at the very least. But Itachi had been everything Yukio had hoped Rin would have been for him. Rin was his hero, the cool guy that came charging in swinging the second a tear escaped from his eye but when it came down to it, there was something... missing. Rin wasn't the kind of brother he could come to and sit with and talk with about things that bothered him. Everything just rolled off him like water off the back of a duck. Rin would tell him to forget about it, like everything would be okay in the end before running off to do his own thing. No advice. No quiet understanding.

There were so many things Rin wouldn't understand.
So many things he wasn't allowed to know.

It just made Yukio feel so... alone.

Then Itachi came into his life.

That man with his quiet demeanor, who had been so patient with him during his first time, who had made his heart race when taking his first kiss. Who he teasingly said would have to take Rin's place so he wouldn't miss having an older brother so much. Who asked to take his virginity.
He recalled his face, how he looked so at peace in sleep. How the early morning sunlight looked reflected through his hair and lightly illumnating his features. He recalled how guilty he felt, watching the man sleep since his own body clock had willed him awake earlier than anyone would be. Yukio recalled how Itachi looked with his hair spilled against his sheets... and how empty his bed looked the morning he woke up without him.

He accepted it with quiet resignation. After all, he'd stayed away for a month. Of course, the man would have moved on and found some new intriguing plaything by then. Yukio recalled how he asked for his time, asked to stay by his side that night just because he wanted to confirm his own feelings. He hadn't expected them and the realization that followed to be that painful when he woke up alone.

He surprised himself when he felt hot wet streaks on his face that stood out against the cold water of his shower.

And now the world had gone cold. He had nothing to look forward to in the morning. Days threatened to pass by, empty and unsure. When had he done something so irresponsibly stupid like falling in love? He had been warned: people came and went. Why did he grow attached to someone he would likely never see again?

They say he fell in love like a teenage boy... but part of him wished he hadn't.
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ғ a υ ѕ т

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